After my most recent break up, I was told that I really needed to find out who I was. This struck me as odd because I’m very open about who I am and the things I want out of life. This most recent relationship has made me realize a ton though.
I’m someone who is willing to communicate through problems. That doesn’t mean we figure it out in 10 minutes. I’m in for the long haul and willing to have those tough conversations that make you feel uncomfortable.
I'm neurotic. When there is something I feel is unresolved, I can't stop thinking about it. I don't mean to obsess over it, but I do. When things don't make sense, it's extraordinarily difficult to calm my mind. Or if I feel that i can say or do something to change an outcome. It's something I have to consciously control because it can cloud my judgement.
I’m patient. I am willing to work with someone with anxiety issues because I have some of my own. I’ve never claimed to be perfect and I never will. I’m constantly evolving and learning more about myself every day.
I’m forgiving. I had an non refundable $477 dollar plane ticket to New York City and I was broken up with 1 week before I was supposed to go out there. After finding out that there was basically nothing that could be done, I got to sit at my house and watch the clock go from 7:29 to 7:30, knowing my flight was gone. All while getting notifications reminding me to check in and I forgive him for that. I can honestly that because this is something that he clearly needed to do, even though it was not a pleasant experience for myself.
I'm also impatient. Seriously. You should see me driving. I have said unforgivable things about anyone who dares travel below the speed limit when i'm trying to get to work for my 8am meetings.
I’m hot-headed. After a few beers I left him a voicemail that was not very kind because of my frustration with his lack of communication during this time. I don’t always handle things gracefully, I’m a human being.
I’m understanding. We both have anxiety so I was willing to talk him through problems he had with us. I listened to him and tried my best to comfort and support him. I always wanted him to feel better, even when that meant my own problems went unresolved between us.
I’m stern. When I’ve had enough of giving without getting any support back, I will vocalize that. A relationship is about a 50/50 partnership. I will love and support my partner in life until the day I die, but only if I believe I’m getting the same in return.
I’m honest. Almost to a fault. I need to express myself and my opinions. Yes, they are long winded. I want to explain my side clearly and precisely. I’ve always been that way.
I’m malleable. My opinion is not the only right opinion. I can listen and rethink what I have just said, however I need you to listen to what I said. You can’t completely dismiss my opinion and expect me to listen to yours. It’s a give and take.
I do my best. No one wrote a manual on how to deal with emotions. I try to be fair to the other party while also taking care of myself. It gets convoluted sometimes.
When I love someone, I love them to my core. I will not say those words unless I mean them. The pain I have experienced these last few weeks has only proven to me just how deep I am capable of loving another human being. Even after everything we’ve been through, it was really just a fight. We are not so far gone that we can never speak again or talk about what happened.
It would be easy to turn to anger. Completely dismiss him as just another asshole that I’ve dated. That’s the weak way out though. Strength is keeping them in your heart. Remembering the butterflies they gave you and the late nights being disgustingly sweet to each other. Those are the important parts. Not the arguing.
Time will heal my wounds and I will love again. I’m not under any sort of illusion that this is the end of my life as I know it. However this is a great time to just work on myself. I’m killing it at work, bettering myself physically and just trying to enjoy the life I’m living. It’s a damn good life and I’m thankful. I have my family and friends surrounding me and I’m living in one of the most beautiful places in the country. It would be even better with him by my side, but that’s not my choice to make.
Missing someone isn’t weak. Being willing to communicate with them after they’ve hurt you isn’t weak. Keeping yourself open is not weak. It’s okay to hurt when you lose someone you love. It’s okay to be stressed. But you have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, work hard and move on.
Thank you to everyone who has been there for me throughout everything. For sure, this has been hard but it’s only making me stronger. Everything is going to happen as it should.
I’m someone who is willing to communicate through problems. That doesn’t mean we figure it out in 10 minutes. I’m in for the long haul and willing to have those tough conversations that make you feel uncomfortable.
I'm neurotic. When there is something I feel is unresolved, I can't stop thinking about it. I don't mean to obsess over it, but I do. When things don't make sense, it's extraordinarily difficult to calm my mind. Or if I feel that i can say or do something to change an outcome. It's something I have to consciously control because it can cloud my judgement.
I’m patient. I am willing to work with someone with anxiety issues because I have some of my own. I’ve never claimed to be perfect and I never will. I’m constantly evolving and learning more about myself every day.
I’m forgiving. I had an non refundable $477 dollar plane ticket to New York City and I was broken up with 1 week before I was supposed to go out there. After finding out that there was basically nothing that could be done, I got to sit at my house and watch the clock go from 7:29 to 7:30, knowing my flight was gone. All while getting notifications reminding me to check in and I forgive him for that. I can honestly that because this is something that he clearly needed to do, even though it was not a pleasant experience for myself.
I'm also impatient. Seriously. You should see me driving. I have said unforgivable things about anyone who dares travel below the speed limit when i'm trying to get to work for my 8am meetings.
I’m hot-headed. After a few beers I left him a voicemail that was not very kind because of my frustration with his lack of communication during this time. I don’t always handle things gracefully, I’m a human being.
I’m understanding. We both have anxiety so I was willing to talk him through problems he had with us. I listened to him and tried my best to comfort and support him. I always wanted him to feel better, even when that meant my own problems went unresolved between us.
I’m stern. When I’ve had enough of giving without getting any support back, I will vocalize that. A relationship is about a 50/50 partnership. I will love and support my partner in life until the day I die, but only if I believe I’m getting the same in return.
I’m honest. Almost to a fault. I need to express myself and my opinions. Yes, they are long winded. I want to explain my side clearly and precisely. I’ve always been that way.
I’m malleable. My opinion is not the only right opinion. I can listen and rethink what I have just said, however I need you to listen to what I said. You can’t completely dismiss my opinion and expect me to listen to yours. It’s a give and take.
I do my best. No one wrote a manual on how to deal with emotions. I try to be fair to the other party while also taking care of myself. It gets convoluted sometimes.
When I love someone, I love them to my core. I will not say those words unless I mean them. The pain I have experienced these last few weeks has only proven to me just how deep I am capable of loving another human being. Even after everything we’ve been through, it was really just a fight. We are not so far gone that we can never speak again or talk about what happened.
It would be easy to turn to anger. Completely dismiss him as just another asshole that I’ve dated. That’s the weak way out though. Strength is keeping them in your heart. Remembering the butterflies they gave you and the late nights being disgustingly sweet to each other. Those are the important parts. Not the arguing.
Time will heal my wounds and I will love again. I’m not under any sort of illusion that this is the end of my life as I know it. However this is a great time to just work on myself. I’m killing it at work, bettering myself physically and just trying to enjoy the life I’m living. It’s a damn good life and I’m thankful. I have my family and friends surrounding me and I’m living in one of the most beautiful places in the country. It would be even better with him by my side, but that’s not my choice to make.
Missing someone isn’t weak. Being willing to communicate with them after they’ve hurt you isn’t weak. Keeping yourself open is not weak. It’s okay to hurt when you lose someone you love. It’s okay to be stressed. But you have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, work hard and move on.
Thank you to everyone who has been there for me throughout everything. For sure, this has been hard but it’s only making me stronger. Everything is going to happen as it should.
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