Location:
Right Outer Thigh
The
concept of my tattoo started out as a Pisces symbol, because I wanted a tattoo
that couldn't change. So even if I end up disliking it as an older gentleman,
it will still be accurate. I don’t believe in astrology but I do believe in
what the Pisces stands for (powerful emotions and ability to empathize deeply)
with the concept of two halves coming together to create a whole being:
"...both an adorable goldfish and a predatory shark, Pisceans often display a duality in their personality. He is fluid and easy going, always trying to swim with the current and go with the flow but the calm and collected facade of a Pisces man often hides his passionate and sensitive inner turmoil..."
I have an impulsive, and often irrational, side that wants instant gratification and everything to go his way; as the years have gone on I have found that this side tends to annoy people because of my demanding nature. (For those of you who know Sterling, that’s him.) The calm and rational side tries to advise against the bad decisions but it also hides the way I feel when I’m stressed or uncertain about something from others. I can be completely freaking out inside my head but my poker face comes out to protect me from judgment, based on criticism I’ve received in the past, for my neuroticism.
The red koi fish stands for love and exuberance. I have the ability to care with incredible depth and sometimes I misplace this on people who don’t deserve it, as most of us have probably done. The red fish stands for the impulsive and loving side that wants everything to work out like a Disney movie. The black fish stands for a personal growth through a dominant change in your life, and with graduation coming up that was all too appropriate. This side also keeps my dreamer side on a leash, making sure I don’t wander off too far into dream land and further, puts me back down on earth with a level head.
There are subtle differences in the shapes of the fins and heads to signal that they are two different halves, but the strips of yellow running through their fins shows that they are unified as one. Between these two sides I got through life’s trials and tribulations and I got the tattoo to help me through my upcoming change. When I look down I see the red fish first, which reminds me that I never want to give up the side that really makes me Justin. The other side is essential to my survival (which side do you think is the one telling me to go to all of my classes?) and helps me further my personal growth in general. I can see him too but only if I tilt my head a little more, which symbolizes the need look at the bigger picture, or grand scheme of things.
I put a lot of thought and conceptualization into my tattoo, so I figured I would get it all written down so anyone could understand what it means to me and why I got it. This goes for people who may not agree with the decision to mark my body so you at least know my reasons. Someday it is all going to end like a movie, but I need patience and adaptability to get me to the finish line, and my tattoo helps me realizes that both parts of my mind will help me through.
If you’re looking for a tattoo artist I would recommend Monica at High Priestess. She’s a really great person and put up with all of my grunting and whining during the tattooing. I love the way it turned out and think it’s beautifully done. And finally, thank you for those of you who actually made it to the end of this longer post - you’re awesome and it’s appreciated. Justin, signing off.
